The secret ingredient for everything you ever wanted..

What’s the secret to fulfilling, angst free relationships?

Natural, easy, bouncing out of bed every morning motivation?

Laser clear sense of direction?

Amazing focus, effectiveness and resilience?

Maybe some people just have ‘it’, an ingredient they were born with?  A silver spoon, or endless luck?

Maybe, but for most of us the essential ingredient is learning to learning – about yourself.

It’s about knowing who you are.  Your strengths, your weaknesses, your core desires and values.

This develops with reflection and attention.

It develops through exploring your interactions with others, failure, success, change.

It develops through being prepared to be challenged about your beliefs about how you see the world and the way you operate within it.

It evolves as your next action and interaction is influenced by what you now understand about yourself, with a new perspective.

It’s a journey which never ends, which leads to greater wisdom and satisfaction with life.

It enables you to fulfil aspirations, enhance your quality of life and satisfy your potential.

I guess this is why I’ve become a personal and corporate coach.  We live in a world which is constantly evolving, it’s in our DNA, it’s about making the process of self development conscious.  Becoming more aware of who we are and what we personally need to live a contented life.

For me this drive used to be to about wanting to progress in my career, impress my bosses, gain recognition.  Lately, it’s been about wanting smoother interactions with others, to deepen my understanding of myself, so I can create a life which meets my core desires and values.  Less about achievement and more about contentment.

Whatever the motivation I truly believe in the power of self-reflection and awareness.  It also helps to gain a different perspective and get some external input.  Otherwise we can end up gazing at our own navels and starting a loop of self-criticism.  I regularly attend courses, read a lot of ‘self-help’ and organisational development books, follow all sorts of different coaches on social media, watch films which challenge my opinions and have a variety of friends, who introduce me to new ways of thinking.

I see a therapist as I’m training to become a psychotherapist.  I talk through stuff that’s bugging me, patterns I’m noticing and frustrations.  I always gain a fresh perspective and new motivation to tackle a situation.  A coach is also a great sounding board, the difference being that a coach doesn’t ‘dig around’ in the deeper emotional stuff that will have developed our view of the world.  A coach will help you to re-frame a situation and then work with you to identify strategies for addressing.

Self reflection and increased self awareness, may not be the magic formula for the endless riches of our fantasies, but I believe it is the key to a richer, more fulfilling life.